Feeling valued as a conversation-specific relational experience: an examination of Buber's existential dialogical theory

Abstract

Martin Buber’s dialogical-existential theory posits that the experience of valuing and feeling valued is fundamental to human connection. Three studies were conducted to test this view in everyday social interactions. Study 1 (N = 130; 4,586 interactions) examined the momentary associations between valuing, closeness, and loneliness. Study 2 (N = 256; 5,631 interactions) replicated and extended Study 1 by exploring whether individuals with a relative deficit of connection benefit more from valuing. Study 3 (N = 98 dyads) extended Study 1 by evaluating actorpartner effects of valuing. Findings across studies supported the dialogical model’s emphasis on human valuing. Valuing improved momentary relational outcomes (closeness and loneliness; Studies 1–3) regardless of individual differences in the need to belong (Study 2) and highlights actor–actor over actor–partner effects (Study 3). In all, Buber’s existential approach offers a valuable framework for identifying everyday interactions promoting well-being and meaningful social connection in an increasingly hyperconnected world.